| |
|
|
Any food that
I like exceptionally well always seems to disappear from the
market place. That has been the case for decades, but since I
have come to Thailand, it seems even more obvious. 1) Ms. Sasa's
brownies were the best brownies in the whole world. First they
changed their recipe, then their shops vanished altogether. 2) I
thought Pizza Company's lasagna was the most delicious I had
ever tasted. Yet for some strange reason they wiped lasagna off
of their menu. About a year later they brought it back, but the
recipe had changed, and it was just the same boring stuff that
most other restaurants serve. 3) Mrs. Fields bakes semi-sweet
chocolate chip cookies that taste just like the ones my mom used
to pull out of our oven when I was a kid. I was delighted when Mrs. Fields came to
Bangkok. A year or two later, I turned around one day, and she was
gone. 4) To appease my craving for semi-sweet chocolate I decided to make my own treats. For
years now I have been heating a piece of Van Houten dark
chocolate on an Oreo cookie in in my toaster oven for 2 or 3
minutes, just enough to start to melt the chocolate. It's even
better if you can add a slice of banana as pictured above. About
twice a day I devour 3 of these cookies and it gives me a boost
that makes life worth living. However, with no warning whatsoever, Van
Houten has changed their wrapper to a more colorful, albeit, low
budget looking design. They added a "Cookies" flavor, but
nowhere to be seen is their "Dark Chocolate" flavor. At this point I told
my friends I was going contract out as Thailand's premier taste tester. Before any
company launches a new product it is highly advisable that they first consult
with me. They might save themselves an enormous amount of
investment money since I am the
ultimate anti-taster. If I like it, you know it has no
future. Only a week or so after I bore solemn witness to my
friends of what was going on, my favorite peanut butter, Peter
Pan, ceased to exist. And now, adding insult to
injury, my sesame shrimp is gone! Of all things, my sesame
shrimp! For about three years Sizzler had a Wednesday night
special that included smoked pork sausage and sesame shrimp. It
was the perfect plate! I would dip a slice of my smoked pork
sausage into their black pepper gravy and savor it. After that I
would dip a sesame shrimp into their cocktail sauce. I decided
that switching back and forth like that, contrasting the
flavors, was an exquisite experience. Then Sizzler dropped sesame shrimp from their combination
platter. When I came in they ever so politely advised me that I
could order the the smoked pork sausage in combination with the
"pork steak". I pleaded with the manager that I was trying to
lose weight and that the pork steak would make me fat.
Thankfully, she understood that I was Sizzler's most frequent
customer and made an exception for me. For three more years I kept
going back to that same location because it was the only Sizzler
in town that would give me sesame shrimp on Wednesdays. They say
all good
things come to an end. It's true, our wonderful relationship has
now been interrupted. The manager informed me that she could no longer
give me sesame shrimp for the simple reason that Sizzler no
longer carried it. I have now come to the conclusion that
all of this is a conspiracy (ask a couple of my former
co-workers, they will tell you all about conspiracies, lots of
laughs.) There is a conspiracy behind closed doors that is
determined to keep me from eating anything I would really enjoy. In fact, I'll bet you
twenty baht that these products I am missing haven't been removed from the entire
country.
I think they have only been removed from the stores that I go
to. I believe people in black coats just follow me around and call
ahead to the stores that I am going to, warning them that I am coming. "Hurry,
hurry, get that dark chocolate off the shelf! He will be there in ten minutes!" |
|
|
|
